I originally posted this on face book with a caption that read…. “the old me…” but in reality, I know me all TOO well that if a person from my past, (and we had significant history) and has possibly screwed me over a billion times and then I had to stop talking to certain people for my own health…. I probably still would help them.

I have few enemies but a handful of people I choose not to speak with on a daily basis, for protection of my own well-being (mentality, physically and spiritually). Being mistreated in any way does not deserve of my time.

At the end of the day, Love everyone, even those that have screwed you over or disappoint you time and time again.

Know your boundaries and somehow set an expectation if a person has a reason to ask you for help…. you have a choice to help but know that the person may still continue to disappoint you yet again…. actions speak loud but repetitive behavior speaks volumes.

Pray on it before making a move. God will not let you meet the devil twice…. you’ve changed or they have…. if God isn’t answering quick enough… go with your gut, instincts never lie.

[**Way too much time on my hands and been thinking about a lot of stuff… 🙄😓]

Ephesians 4:31-32 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Couldn’t sleep last night so I decided to just write.

I found this quote the other day and thought to myself, why not leave 2020 up to God, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain through his guidance and protection.

Dear God, I’m placing 2020 in your hands… on purpose.

I  have found that leaving the choices of my future to you, will more than likely be the better than most of the choices I could come up with for myself this year.  LOL

I know you have my back at all times.  I know you will not stray me down paths that you wouldn’t see has a purpose for my future. 

Even during times of trials, I will not question why.

I’m exhausted trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to be doing with my life.

Trying to figure out who is really in my corner of life. 

Tied of fake people.

Tired of head games.

Tired of those that are comfortable being repeat offenders of hurting the souls of the people they once said they loved.

This year, I know I will be happier.

This year, I know I am in a better place mentally, physically, emotionally and most important spiritually.

I know, FOR ME, the only way I can be all these things, are through YOU. 

I’ve failed miserably when I tried to do things on my own. 

I’ve failed miserably when I didn’t ask You first on how to handle situations.   I didn’t know I could ask you personally for guidance or strength.  I didn’t know the kind of relationship I could have with You.

I’d be the one that would jump in the pool, head first without looking and not realize there was no water in the bottom of the pool.  At least that is how I think some of my past looked.

You become numb to the pain.

Learn to build walls up around yourself.   It is safer this way. 

You don’t want to share your life because its not where you thought you’d be or “should be” (according to the haters).

The constant let down of others begin to feel like a thickening around the heart and often the mind.  Like scar tissue.  Layer upon layer of constant ‘beating’. 

2019 set me up to see the future a little clearer.  A year of understanding boundaries and a release of those I had a hard time forgiving.  Letting go of the baggage that once kept my mind a prisoner.

I’m still not ok with how easy it was for people to be shady, disrespectful, lie, cheat and make others look like they’re the crazyones.    

I’m not ok with people hurting people, deliberately and intentional. 

I’m not ok with people doing things out of spite, knowing the repercussion it could cause or the pain and hurt it can cause to others.  But yet comfortable to continue to do it any way.

I know that this year will be even better than the last few because I’m becoming a better version of me each day.

2020 has me in attention to focus on YOU and leave everything up to You.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name! Amen!

#2020 #protection #guidance #allday #everyday #god #jesus #prayer #transformation #resolution #healthymind #healthylife #thankful #peace #love #happiness #live #laugh #life #lifeofchallenges #patience #happiness

IG Credit & inspired by @blacklovepage

Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t get any further this year like you hoped.

Even if you accomplish getting out of bed some days, it’s still progress. Life is hard. You’re given twists and turns and trials and tribulations. Whew, that’s a lot!

Maybe you had some set backs this year based on people, finances, jobs, health…. you know…. LIFE!

Don’t beat yourself up. Know tomorrow is another chance to try again. Not today, but maybe tomorrow you find a reason to get out of bed.

How about tomorrow you at least get a shower. Maybe step outside and see what the weather is like.

Know that people love you. Know that only YOU can make a change. Only YOU can make an effort. I know some days it feels like everything is crashing around you. Guess what?

IT IS!!! Life is too short. Stop beating yourself up over failures. It happens.

GIVE YOUR TROUBLES AND SADNESS TO GOD IF YOU CANT MOVE PAST THIS SEASON ON YOUR OWN.

🙏🏽❤️

#findyourpurpose

#mentalhealthawareness

#giveittogod #life #struggleisreal #jesuslovesyou #godloveseveryone #evenyou #faith #foreverfindingpurpose

Some people are hard to love because of their past. Even love is not enough to help heal them and the only thing they know how to do is continue to hurt those that love them. Pray for them to heal in every way possible.

On the flip side, those feeling the pain by these hurt individuals, know you can’t save them all the time. Know that even though you continue to give and give with love and trying everything to save them, know they might not want YOU to save them. Know your limits. Set your boundaries of how much pain one can continue to endure over and over again.

Hurt individuals need to acknowledge they have a problem and get help in finding where their pain stems from.

Trauma and pain from the past haunt almost every relationship going forward.

Did you know trauma can affect someone as young as 6 months old? I learned this a domestic violence class this past summer. The only way to reverse trauma is therapy, self love, a great support system, minimal drama, a safe and healthy environment.

Incidents from the past will definitely play a huge part most of their adult life. And most relationships will not end in a good way.

If you really want to love those that hurt, get them the help to heal to free themselves of the pain they have felt for many years.

THATS how you save someone who doest know how to love you back.

💔 Hit home on many levels. #mentalillness #hardtolove #pain #trauma #hurt #allreal #realtalk #heal #therapy #god #healthepast #getbetter #loveyourselffirst #seekhelp #doyourbest #stophurtingyourself #stophurtingpeople #youareworthit #love #loveyourself #healing

Timeline your life… on purpose.

***very random blog. Creative writing tonight****

When you lay your history out on every event that you can remember, it makes it clear the happiest times was when I was around some pretty awesome people in my life during some really crappy times in my life.

I am thankful for my support system (near and far). Some I may not talk to regularly and a few I don’t talk to at all (for various reasons).

I do have a great support group that we all check in a couple times a week. Not daily. And that’s ok. (I don’t have the energy to talk to someone every day unless it’s my super close (handful) of friends (often referred to as my family)or if there was a significant other).

Other than that, I often become drained sometimes when I’m around tons of people, regardless if it’s me talking or even listening. I’m sensitive to what people tell me. And trust me, people tell me a lot. So I apologize to many I owe calls and messages. I’m not ignoring you… I’m just tired (mentally).

I say all this because one thing for sure…. if I needed ANYTHING, these people would have my back in a heart beat. Regardless if they know every detail of my life. They don’t try to tell me what I need to do and not do with my life. They believe in me. They believe in my path. They believe I do have a purpose. And… they love me unconditionally. ❤️🙏🏽 Can’t ask for a better place to be in my life ❤️💯

********

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for blessing me with this amazing journey of life… as I analyze certain areas of my past, it reminds me of some of the crappy things I’ve done to people or even screwed over.

Then seeing right in front of me why I made some of the decisions I did. The good. The bad. The ugly. The really ugly. It’s life.

I now know everything will be answered and some things will obvious. Some things will need personal forgiveness. And some straight forgiveness, even if I may never get closure… Im learning to rid of the toxic mind of my past that won’t leave and learn to let go of all that does not bring me happiness.

Thank you Lord for guiding me and protecting me during those tough times and giving me the ability to RELEASE all the things that have weighed me down for years.

Thank you Lord, for always having my back! From day one! 😂

In Jesus’ Name, Amen

*****************

Now you know why the timeline…. on purpose.

And I feel better having someone help me get some of this information I’ve been storing for many many years, out of my mind….

…and perhaps one day all my personal info will be great resources for a documentary or even a comedy sitcom 😂 (Kidding not kidding) or just great information for others to learn from one day.

Either way, I have a lot to talk about. I know I can help others. I’m just gonna keep sharing what I know.

Use what God gave me (a gift to gab.) As well as learn from others. Set a good example for all.

Share the love God has given me with less fortunate. ❤️

********

Write your own timeline out…

Find a person to talk to.

About everything. Friends can be the best therapy. And therapists. So can your hair dressers, barbers and massage therapists. 🙋‍♀️

Good night!

See IG post: @kerrieann10

#blessed #progress #takestime #stilllearning #babysteps #life #therapy #godsgotme #godsplan #dobetter #bebetter #thoughts #learnfrommistakes #letitgo #mylifeisastory #sitcom #drama #mystery #pgrated #imtheproducer #mosttalkative #nokidding #gifttogab #noregrets #massagetherapist #selfcare #friends #therapy#foreverfindingpurpose

You’re funny God! I asked God earlier to give me a peace sign to show His way of letting me know I am doing ok…. and I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing…. so, this is what He gave me… 11:11! 👍🏽 You are A funny man!!! I’ll take it!!! ❤️

Ok… You’re right… I do need to leave it in your hands. Thank you for giving me this evening to reflect on how great YOU really are. Keep guiding me where you see fit, giving me answers where I often questioned and thank you for light to areas I often would see in the dark. You are my light in more ways than one.

I know You have amazing things in store for me. I am excited every day to see where You, my Heavenly Father directs me.

I understand every trial and tribulation I have gone through has been with purpose. I know there will be many more to come but I am grateful for the ones you have given me because I have learned that with Belief, Faith, Hope and acknowledgement that Your Son, Jesus Christ, gave his life for ALL my sins and therefor HE is my Savior…. because of that…. I know YOU DO makes all things possible, including keeping me of sound mind during this trying week of the emotional sabotage I often put on myself from time to time.

I know I am strong. I know am worthy. I know I am capable of handling anything when He is by my side.

Thank you God!

In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

#god #signs #peace #1111

Can we all get along and love one another while we’re still alive here on earth?!

So much hate. So much violence. Is this REALLY how we are supposed to be living our final days of life?

Even if you are not a believer in Christ, wouldn’t you just like to see the world a better place? More love! Less hate!

Life is to short. #alllivesmatter #timeforchange #loveoneanother #lovemore #hateless #believe #worldchanger #genesis12cfc

#gospelmusic #worship #kirkfranklin #wannabehappy #foreverfindingpurpose

Someone asked me why I work three jobs when I don’t have to.

THIS is why I work three jobs!

First off, people that don’t know me well enough, doesn’t know my financial situation and MAYBE I do need to work three jobs.

But in all honesty, they’re right – I don’t need to work three jobs. But I CHOOSE to work three jobs.

My massage business will ALWAYS be my full time job. Always. I love what I do and that will never change. And I went into this career to help others and travel the world.

My part time job at the architect firm ROCKS. I work with some awesome people and I love working for the owner. This past year, the company has been able to offer me affordable benefits (health/dental) –which is extremely beneficial because paying for health insurance out of pocket is horrific (we all know the stories of affordable health care… that no one can afford it).

My other full time job is at the domestic violence shelter. This one is truly a BLESSING. It’s on the path of where my gifts can be utilized – and I get paid for it and a roof over my head. And they too offer me better benefits (WAY cheaper than the other job). So, I’ll be paying less in benefits and don’t pay rent.

So, when you ask me why I work three jobs – its about priority, planning, hustling and making it work. And I have no desire to work for the rest of my life.

I am doing what I need to do –even if that means working 7 days/week and an even lesser social life than I had before.

It’s cool because in 5 years, I’ll have my home and I’ll have my long vacations. I won’t be worrying about anything except what I need to make for dinner, whose coming to visit or planning my next trip. AND I will still be doing what I love.

God NEVER gives us more than we can handle – so until then – I’m gonna keep on doing me (unless someone is offering to pay my bills, take me on extended vacations around the world or buys me my 5-6 bedroom home with an in-law suite and amazing back yard fully equipped for entertaining…. which more than likely won’t happen any time soon). I gotta do what I gotta do! Rise and grind.

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

Peace. Love. Happiness.

#visionboard #riseandgrind #goals #workhard #playhard #home #vacations #lifeisgood #godsplan #mountains #jungle #ocean #valley #city #country #desert #unlimited #peace #love #happiness #hustle #makeitwork #foreverfindingpurpose

www.instagram.com/w.o.d.i.o.s/p/BvuVZAdB7Vs/

This chick is superwoman!!! Seriously!

If you don’t follow her on ALL SOCIAL MEDIA OUTLETS – DO IT!

She has an inspiring story and making people more aware of #autism is her mission and purpose!!

Everyone should listen to this video and understand the world of autism, our health system and day to day living with a family that has support, love and fighting power to educate people on autism… she doesn’t stop!!!!! #autismawareness #superwoman

#autism