Why do I stay up so late…. on purpose…

(WARNING: I’m sure there are way too many typos and grammatical errors….teacher friends: sorry. English teacher friends: really sorry. People that just want to correct me: #dontcare #itslate

Why do I stay up so late…. on purpose…

Not enough hours in the day to get everything done that I want too and then I realize how much time I actually waste worrying about life. Or “researching’ on how to do better in life….

[Researching: an ability to get lost on this thing called the internet, that one click here, one click there… Now 10 ‘open’ screens deep…

8 apps ‘running’ in the background…

Bookmarking this webpage (and hopefully remembering to remind myself to go check it out one of these days when I have ‘free time’, )…

saving that recipe because that would be a good one to make one day….

screenshooting every thing that reminds me of someone and (again, hopefully) remembering to txt it to them tomorrow (because if I txt it tonight (what time is it?), they’ll kill you if you wake them up by the annoying ding, followed by several more dings because I can’t just send one text. I have to send the screenshot, saved photo, article, joke… of what ever it was that reminded me of that person (that one text…one ding) and then adding my comment(s) (that could be two, three, sometimes more selecting on how good it 😂😂😂. ding, ding, ding) or explaining something (ding, ding)…

surrounded by several (not one or two… more like 3,5, 6 🤷🏼‍♀️ depends on the night really) different kinds of notebooks, notepads, different journals for different reasons, or pieces of paper held together with paperclips or inside a notebook related to the same topic….and a billion pens (with correction tape), highlighters (many colors, many sixes), pencils, #2 old school, most times (with erasers and pencil sharpener on hand ….)]

I ‘research’ just about anything but my main focus areas are: heath, massage, mental illness, wellbeing, dream vacation, ‘if I would ever get married again’ Pinterest (I’m a girl, I like to dream), flights to ummm… Kansas (friend(s) there, California (ooh, possible future job opportunity), Florida (because after all, it is the sunshine state and who doesn’t like sunshine and warmth this time of year), Jamaica (#2 bucket list) or I just find stuff that makes me laugh or while randomly creeping… I mean researching on social media, I end up posting stuff that make me laugh way to much or something that I can relate to and feel the need to share, forward or message photos, memes, ‘remember when’ songs… (some stuff is a MUST share) and I don’t want to be the only one sucked into the world of the internet….

You get my point…

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So, once I get settled in on what I want to write about…

I tell myself I need to stop at a (such and such) time so I can get at least 8hr of sleep 😂😂😂 (never happens)… then when I look at the clock again … it’s 3 hrs later. 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ (thinking in my head: 5 hrs of sleep…I’ve functioned on less before) and then find myself yelling (yes yelling) to GO TO BED KERRIEANN! (I have a tone I use and all)! LoL (and yes, I do talk to myself). LoL

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I find myself getting overwhelmed by all the tragedy going on in our lives. I can’t avoid it. It’s every where. Some good. Some bad. Some facts. Some not.

Everything. Everything you want to know is on the internet.

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I spend all this time researching all this stuff.. I find myself asking myself (the one time I actually don’t speak a loud)… I have all this info…. Then what do I do with it??

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I say all that because even tho I tell you about my sleepless nights, whining about being sleep deprived or having a headache the next day (sometimes many days)…

And I still take naps when I can (because our bodies need sleep to BE more productive.) but also because I have two jobs with a bit of flexibly.

I still feel like my time spent on the internet IS productive.

And I know for a fact that anything I write about will be useful one day. To someone.

Anyone.

Even if it’s only one person that saw what I posted and took the time to read my (one) blog, post, text… what ever…. if that one thing helped change a persons live, something in you, saved their life or made them smile…

All of this is worth it….

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And that is the only time (other than vacations) that I wished we had more hours in our day to focus on the things we WANT to do (vacation, family time, down time, me time) and less on the the things we NEED to do… like work, eat, bath (you know… real life stuff). 😂

It’s 4am. Work by 10a. 5 hours. It’s functional. Good night, Good Morning. ❤️ Have am amazing day.

#blogger #sleeplessinvirginia #nightowl #writingwithapurpose #goals #life #challenges #ocd #mentalillnessawareness #helpingpeople #savinglives #massagetherapist #jackofalltrades #lovemylife #live #life #love

#foreverfindingpurpose