I saw a meme on IG that read: “I seriously can not wait until all the pieces come together and I finally understand why I went through everything I did” @wordporn
It’s been a constant battle in my life where I feel like I take two steps forward and somehow, someway, it takes me three steps back… Every. Dang. Time.
And battling depression doesn’t help.
Constantly beating myself up of why this, that and the other happens and always leading to a disaster or failure. Or when certain expectations lead me to setting myself up for total disappointment.
A year ago I felt at my lowest, alone, sad, disappointed in myself and a bit lost.
I needed to seek some type guidance but didn’t know who to turn to without feeling judged. And honesty, at that time, I burned most of my bridges of my closet peeps.
Who was the one & only person that I could trust at my most vulnerable time?
That’s when I realized I needed God in my life.
I decided to leap into Faith, started studying the Bible, focus on why Jesus is my Savior and have continued to work soulfully and spiritually on me and my relationship with God.
I’ve come a long way in a year.
I’ve since been baptized and I know I will always be a work in progress, regardless of my failures and achievements.
God never wants any of us to be stagnant, comfortable or complacent.
I already know why I had to go through everything I have in my 40+ years of life.
God did not put me in situations that I could not handle.
As I take the fails, the falls and the bruises, each time God gave me the strength to work on being a better me, learn from my mistakes and gave me the ability to realize some things just happen. This is life. And you can’t beat yourself up about it.
We can not control what will happen in life, how people are out there, or when our last day here on Earth is… we just need to do better of appreciating what we DO have, who we have in it and be thankful we are still alive.
I know days are still going to be hard. And there will always be days I don’t want to be social.
Only person that can judge me is God, and I know he won’t, as long as He knows I AM doing the best I can TODAY.
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